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We held Mom's memorial - a celebration of her life - on May 11, 2002. Mother's Day Saturday.
While I was cleaning in Auburn, Al drove to Salt Lake City and brought Josh - and Wassach - back to Albuquerque. Then they, Joanne, and Varna rented a humungous SUV and drove straight through to Auburn. Next, Chuck and Fergie drove up from Durham. Mari & Keith decided that, at 1 month, Elena was too young for such trip: 12 hours straight or 2 days driving. Charles and Trish also considered it too far (16 hours each way) for just the weekend. And they had all already said their own good-byes.
Vikki & I reserved a big picnic shelter at Green Hill Park, in Worcester, where Mom & Dad liked to take us to feed the ducks and see the animals in the little zoo. After weeks of cool drizzle, Saturday was sunny and warm, if a bit windy.
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Mom's neighbors, John & Judy Shea let Joanne pick a pretty bunch of lilacs to go with my flowers and Vikki's candles. I made a poster board triptych of pictures of Mom. And we had Mom's ashes, covered with a hand-crocheted scarf. Of course, we also had a table of food (including Al's hot and hotter roll-ups) and drink. Mom would never have forgiven us for inviting guests and not feeding them! |
| Mom - from her as a baby in the parents' arms - to her high school graduation photo - to Mom & Dad at their wedding - to Mom with us when we were kids - to Mom in New Hampshire, Newport News, San Antonio, Durham, Greenville, Lithuania... - and everything in between. |  |
Vikki, eldest daughter of eldest daughter (me) of eldest daughter (Mom), of eldest daughter (Mama)... began our celebration by welcoming everyone and reciting a traditional Lithuanian "daina" or song for the departed. She then invited us to share our happy memories about Mom.
 That's Joanne & Josh on the left; AL's friend and me on the right, listening. |
 Mom's cousin Gene Derba, Al's friend & me & Josh, Joanne, Mom's neighbor Florence McLaughlin behind another of Al's friends, Roberta Perron (Joanne's aunt and a good friend of Mom's) behind Lois Spafford who was Mom's next door neighbor for 50 years and a true friend and helper, Gene who volunteered with Mom & Lois & Jean at the District nurse office and took "the girls" out to eat, Jean Kendrick who was another neighbor & volunteer & friend & ice cream lover, Roy Johnson who has been Al's friend forever, and Al - all listening. |
And we did share our memories. Lois read a lovely piece about Mom and their relationship. And how Mom was always ready to go and do - and always dressed in a totally co-ordinated outfit, down to the shoes and jewelry. Jean remembered how, whenever she'd call Mom about going off someplace, Mom's comment was, "Just let me get my shoes on!"
Al remembered how Mom & Dad were always friendly and outgoing and welcoming - and ready to take off. He knew that, when I left him on the phone to go to Mom's hospital bed, that Dad had just called to her that the car was ready for them to take off. It really hit me, because at that same time I knew that she was going to Dad.
 Me telling my memories. |
 Al, telling his. That's Pricilla Power, who was the girl's gym teacher in Gardner when Dad taught the boys and was close to both Mom & Dad. |
Then we all snacked and enjoyed each other and our memories of Mom & Dad. They both lived long and happy lives, doing just about everything they wanted. They were so friendly and enthusiastic about life, travelling to visit friends and relatives, keeping up with their grandchildren, learning and doing new things. And bringing people together, just as they did for their memorials.
 Dottie Moore who taught 83-year-old Mom to drive; Roberta Perron, Joanne's aunt and Mom's good friend; and Denise Perron, Joanne's sister and Mom's neighbor and helper and friend. |
 Vikki's husband Ian, Josh, Joanne, Denise, and Al. |
Which is why we consider them celebrations of life, rather than memorials about death. Mom may be where we cannot phone or visit her, but we can still share our adventures and all. She is with us in our willingness to try something new, to go somewhere new, to meet and care about someone new.
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